Nurse Bert Reports

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“To make a difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful or perfect. You just have to care.”   ~ Mandy Hale

 

 

I’m not letting her out of my sight.

Nicole, that is.

Because she’s still really sick.

I’m making her rest. I’m following her if she needs to get out of bed. I want her to know that my job is to look after her. And I take my job very seriously.

Human peoples, Nicole is resting. Rest can make you better. So can love. So I am making sure she has both.

Maybe you need some rest and some love too. I think it is very good medicine.

That’s all for now.

Love from Nurse Bert

xoxo

 

Packing My Suitcase…

“Wandering is the activity of the child, the passion of the genius; it is the discovery of the self, the discovery of the outside world, and the learning of how the self is both “at one with” and “separate from” the outside world. These discoveries are as fundamental to the soul as “learning to survive” is fundamental to the body. These discoveries are essential to realizing what it means to be human. To wander is to be alive.”
~ Roman Payne

 

Today I’ll be packing my suitcase. You see, I’m finally well enough to travel. (Fingers crossed, touch wood., etc..)

I’m flying out of Australia tomorrow to attend a conference in the Philippines. It’s my first trip since I was diagnosed with Lyme. It’s also my first solo overseas adventure as an adult. Usually my darling husband Ben is with me, holding my hand, guiding me places, organising everything.

Ben does so much for me, and has done since shortly after we were married. It’s not that I’m a hopeless, helpless creature by nature. Once upon a time I was fiercely independent. But my health has slowly been deteriorating since I was at high school, and for many years my cognitive function and my balance and coordination were so poor that if I didn’t rely on Ben I would never have been able to go anywhere.

I am the Queen of my Domain inside the house, and as long as circumstances are tightly controlled I totally rock within a narrow band of activities. I give the appearance of being high-functioning because I have crafted my life around my limitations.

That hit me last night. Effectively, Ben has been my human guide-dog for all of our twenty years of togetherness.

As my heath deteriorated, so did my confidence. Ben has been able to facilitate the illusion of my independence so capably and unobtrusively that even I had bought into the myth.

I keep reminding myself that I’m much more well now. My brain works. Unless I’m tired or very stressed. My body mostly does too. Still, it’s more scary than I’d realised, contemplating this solo adventure.

And that worrying chest pain, which two years of intensive antibiotics had completely banished, has just recently made a reappearance. That’s okay. I can live with that. I did for years before, didn’t I? See, it sits there quietly now and I’m still functioning and okay. It won’t be a problem. Anyway, I have health insurance and the Philippines has doctors and hospitals.

Our wonderful travel agent has organised for me to fly as far as Singapore, get off and sleep in an airport motel for the night, and then travel on to Cebu the next day. A leisurely trip. Not much to worry about or to exhaust me. I can even access one of those little buggies that takes the old and the afflicted between terminals or across long airport distances. I’m hopeful I can stride out on my own, but I’m not above asking for help if the long flight leaves me so stiff that I can only manage a limpy lurch by the time I disembark. Still, I’ve checked all the details a million times, and worried about it all.

My packing is a little hilarious. I have my laptop, notebooks, pencil case, Year of ME Planner, oracle cards and a few little crystals.And my iPad. And my phone. Yes, I need all of them. And the chargers. And the power adaptor.

I have a quarter of my suitcase devoted to herbs and supplements, medications and first-aid requisites I actually can’t do without.

And then there are the additional issues I might need to consider. Will my neurological incontinence play up? (Thank you, Lyme!) Hmmm. If so, I need to bring incontinence pads and some big-girl pull-ups. (Which induced a worrying amount of God, what if my bladder gives way on the plane? thoughts. The only way to avert disaster is to plan for it and wear something just in case the worst happens. Sigh.) Can you buy adult incontinence products in Cebu? Better pack some, just in case, although I hope I won’t need them.

Will the pain in my legs keep me up at night? Should I pack magnesium gel and some liniment? Yep, I’d better. I haven’t managed more than a night or two without these things in the past three years. Which means I’ll need to pack my essential oils too. Can’t sleep or function some days without them.

Oh. My bag is nearly full, and I haven’t added clothes yet.

Luckily the Philippines is balmy. I won’t need many clothes. Most of what I need can actually be packed in my carry-on luggage. (How ridiculous, right?)

This time tomorrow I shall be taking one last cafe trip with Harry and Ben, before we have cuddles all round and then I am dropped at the airport.

Scary good!

I keep thinking of Helen Keller’s quote – Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

I’m sure I’ll be just fine.

 

Choosing Your Emotional State

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” ~ Walter Anderson

 

I travelled to see a new Lyme doctor yesterday. In Australia they are getting harder and harder to come by. This one lives hours from my home, so we allocated an entire day and my husband Ben drove me. I am still not up to driving most days, and certainly not a trip of this distance.

After 2 years of intense antibiotic therapy which saved my life, I was unable to find anyone to continue my treatment, and had to stop midway through a program of therapy. Why? My first doctor was shut down, and my second stepped away from practice. My third doctor wouldn’t treat me because of the risks to their career, although they were happy to supervise me on the protocols of a previous doctor until my medications ran out. so, like at many other times in my life I was back to doing my own doctoring.My fourth doctor, the one who initially diagnosed me, still refuses to treat me because it’s ‘too controversial’ – although they will put me on a ‘wellness program’.

Since then I’ve supported myself with herbs, diet, essential oils, acupuncture and detoxing. I have a good GP who is supportive but doesn’t know anything about Lyme. I’d been doing pretty well, apart from a few hospitalisations. But now my chest pain is coming back, and some other worrying symptoms. Symptoms that recently eased when I went on a course of antibiotics for something entirely unrelated. So I know I need to be back under the care of a lyme literate doctor.

To be honest, yesterday was a difficult day. As we drove I knew that my friend Liz was above me in the sky somewhere, winging her way to Hawaii with her family. After a recent cancer prognosis Liz knows she has a very short time left on this earth. I was thinking of her, and the conflicting emotions she would be feeling as she made the journey for what might be her last holiday with her loved ones.

When I wasn’t thinking about Liz I was reviewing my thick folder of health notes. These aren’t all my notes and results. Just the ones from the last few years. The entirety of my notes fills a filing cabinet, and that isn’t even all of them. In fact, in peaks of chagrin or frustration I have thrown many away.

As I looked through my medical files, I became increasingly distressed. I’ve been seriously ill since my late teens. This illness has shaped my entire adult life. Restricted my life. Impaired my life. Almost ended my life on more than one occasion.

I looked at all of the notes from doctors and specialists and natural therapists who didn’t believe me, or put the blame on me when I didn’t respond to treatment. I looked at all of my various diagnoses and treatment plans stretching back to my late teens, when I first became very ill.  I am now nearing fifty and was only given a Lyme diagnosis in early 2013. I could fill a notebook with the diagnoses I’ve had before that.

I thought about all of the doctors whose practices have been shut down over the years for electing to help people like me who are falling through the cracks of the medical system.

I thought of the people I know who have suicided because of Lyme when they couldn’t take the pain anymore, couldn’t see a way out, were getting worse despite their best efforts, couldn’t find any support, or whose loved ones grew weary of the burden of their care. Of all of the sufferers who have never been believed or taken seriously, although they are desperately ill.

I thought of all of the lyme sufferers I know who have died from this disease, or the complications that have arisen from this disease.

I thought of how much money and time I have thrown at this, for such limited results.

And I got angry.

So here I was. Angry and nervous.

Nervous because what if this new doctor turned me away? What if they didn’t believe me?

I forgot to say fearful. I was fearful too. Because I am so much better than I have been and this chest pain is awful and I am so frightened of sliding back to where I was. Or worse.

By the time we arrived at our destination I was a churning mess, although I was trying to hold onto optimism.

The appointment itself was frustrating. The doctor wants more information. They are being very careful. Who wouldn’t, in a climate of such persecution of medicos? While they review all my recent results from the past few years, and discuss my case, I will wait. Hopefully this doctor will then take me on and I will finally have a supervised course of action.

As we drove home in a car filled with silence, I came to a profound understanding.

Most of my life I have faced hardship, especially in regard to my health. Despite that I have remained optimistic. I have made plans. I have held to a vision of a positive future. I have lived despite my disease.

This year I have so many lovely things organised. I am blessed with my husband and the love of my two crazy hounds. My little farm fills my soul with peace. I am well enough to work. I am finally well enough to travel. (Yes, I have chest pain and yes that freaks me out, but I have travelled and lived with this before and been fine, and if I croak it, it won’t matter anyway!)

So I decided yesterday that what matters most is my attitude. I just can’t afford to get bogged down in the injustice and awfulness of it all. I can’t get bogged down in my own personal history. I can’t even get bogged down in my current situation. I have to stop opening that damned folder! I need to rise above this, to turn my face towards the sun and stop looking behind me.

When I think of my plans and I sit in gratitude for my life, I can still be happy. I can still feel good inside.

That dark bird of death always sits on my shoulder. Just as she follows each one of us. But I am comfortable with her now, and she helps me to remember what is important and good in my life. Her presence is a blessing because I am reminded to live mindfully, to chose what matters and to live that. No more for me the life of an automaton. I cannot take life for granted and I won’t.

None of it matters, really. We will all die. We don’t know when. But while we are alive, we can live. And what we choose to think and focus on colours every single day.

I cannot always choose my outcomes or my circumstances, but I can choose my thinking. And that is a powerful place to be.

 

 

The Best Spagyric Tincture Deal You’ll See All Year!

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“A wise man ought to realize that health is his most valuable possession.” ~ Hippocrates

 

Those of you who follow my blog know that one of the factors that has been instrumental in my healing journey with Lyme has been to take the Mare Maia herbal spagyric tinctures that have been so carefully and loving crafted using organic plants and time-old methods by my friends Paul Hardacre and Marissa Newell in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

These beautiful alchemical formulas support a return to balance and health from a myriad of conditions, and I can’t recommend them highly enough.

 

Paul explains what makes Spagyric tinctures different to ordinary homeopathic or plant-based remedies:

“Spagyric tinctures are alchemical plant medicines that offer a more energetically complete herb or plant extraction. These concentrated extractions contain the three essentials – that is, the body, soul and spirit – of the herb or plant, purified and recombined in an exalted medicinal form. The spagyric technique is part of the ancient initiatic tradition of alchemy – the Art that lies at the heart of the inner traditions of the West.

Ordinary herbal tinctures only partially utilise the curative powers of the plants from which they are prepared. Spagyric tinctures are made according to unique processes which ‘open’ the plant or herb and liberate stronger curative powers. The spagyric technique of confecting herbal remedies embodies another – more synergistic – way of considering Nature and its powers.”

Paul and Marissa became interested in spagyrics and the restorative properties of plants after too many of their loved ones suffered and died with little recourse or support from conventional medicine. Theirs is a small family business, and they are involved in every aspect of the creation of each batch of tincture. They’ve been dear friends of mine for over two decades, and when they found out how ill I was they dispatched the first of many of their tinctures to me.

I can vouch for their tinctures’ efficacy because I’ve been using them for a prolonged period with great results. The tinctures harness the best of a plant’s healing powers, and as an energetically sensitive person I can really feel the strength and clarity of each brew.

On my desk beside me at all times I have Lion’s Mane Mushroom, Lemon Balm and Turmeric. I also have a current love affair with Raw Cacao and Digestive Blend.

So – the good news. If you need to re-order, or you’ve been thinking about getting some, now is the time to buy!

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The Mare Maia Laboratory is relocating, so until this Friday 19th of February, you can buy any three tinctures and receive an additional two tinctures for free. Your purchases will directly and meaningfully help Paul and Marissa to relocate and to expand their current family business, as well as benefiting yourself and securing a massive bargain.

You can go here to read more about the tinctures, and to order:

Mare Maia Relocation Sale

Please feel free to share this post with your friends and family. Let’s spread the word about Paul and Marissa’s wonderful herbal tinctures and help more people to benefit from their work. Thank you.

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Want to Join Me For A Ten Day Health Challenge?

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
~ Helen Keller

 

In ten days we’ll be looking at the end of January – the end of the first month of this new year.

I know. You said things would be different this year.

And I also know that some of you are already flagging. (Are you using my Planner? I promise that will make things easier!)

Sometimes, in order to affect change, we need to make new habits. We need to do things differently than we did before. You know this already, on a head level. You may have even tried to make changes in the past. But many of us have not been good at keeping promises to ourselves. Our commitment muscles have become weak. We don’t trust ourselves anymore. It becomes easier and easier to quit on ourselves and our own goals, even as we are holding up the rest of the world with one hand, encouraging and supporting everyone else.

So I propose a Challenge.

Ten days of completing a simple task each day. Every day.

Ten days are enough to start getting into the groove of a new habit. Ten days are enough to see and feel a change. Ten days are enough to find out that we CAN keep our promises to ourselves. We can finish January strong. We can build belief that will help move us through the rest of our year with more confidence and tenacity.

The skills we learn by sticking to one small commitment can then be applied to the bigger things we hope to achieve for ourselves.

No matter what your plans this year, or your One Big Thing, I’m encouraging you to choose a simple health focus for the next ten days. Why? Because you live in your body! Because nothing works well when we don’t have our health. Good health choices are a kindness to ourselves. They are self-care in action. And these choices help us to feel better about ourselves on every level.

Image from cuebc.ca

Image from cuebc.ca

Make your choice a small one. You’ve got lots of other stuff going on. Don’t overwhelm yourselves. Not sure what to choose? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Drink two litres of water each day
  • Eat breakfast
  • Walk every day
  • Yoga stretches each day
  • Make my own healthy lunch instead of take-out
  • Eat more fruit and vegetables
  • Green juice every day
  • Eat a particular way (doctor or health specialist recommended, paleo, weight watchers, gluten-free, coffee-free, whatever-way-of-eating-you’ve-been-half-assed-about-in-the-past)
  • Daily exercise of my choice
  • No screens (phones, computers, TV, tablets) for an hour before bed, and none in the bedroom
  • Daily power nap
  • Eat mindfully, at the table
  • Daily fresh juice or smoothie
  • Daily short meditation (I have lots of free ones here on my site – just put ‘meditation’ in the search bar)
  • Take my vitamins, supplements, magical potions every day
  • Ditch junk food and sugar
  • Stop eating/drinking that thing you know you need to!
  • Connect with someone you love and who loves you – by phone, skype or face-to-face. We all need connection.
  • Healthy snacks instead of chocolate and donuts
  • Cut down or cut out alcohol
  • Daily grounding with bare feet on the earth
  • Use essential oils daily, on yourself or in your diffuser
  • Time in nature
  • Sunshine
  • Enough sleep
  • Short breaks and mini-holidays or adventures each day
  • Move my body, every day, for ten minutes – my choice of movement!

Are you with me? Feel free to write your name below in the comments, along with your ten-day focus. And join us over on facebook, where I will be posting daily updates and encouragement, and where you can share your own progress.

 

A Little Lyme Recovery Update

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“Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.”
~ Winston S. Churchill

 

I can honestly say that I’m improving as I heal from late stage Lyme disease. It’s noticeable. To me, it’s remarkable. Bittersweet, humbling, world-expanding.

In November 2012 I was dying. I suffered from dilated cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure and my organs were slowly shutting down. No-one really knew why. I had lesions on my brain. I struggled to walk. I couldn’t drive. I had uncontrollable Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and the hormone levels of a ninety-year-old nana. Things that I’d held to as my last bastions of humanity were being stripped away from me, worst of all my capacity to write and hold a story in my head. I clung to life, such as it was. The only things working for me were my marriage and my psychic work. Both endured, despite my increased limitations.

In December 2012 a wonderful doctor diagnosed me with Lyme Disease, a condition I had never heard of. I was diagnosed clinically, and then by bloodwork sent to an overseas laboratory. I felt ecstatic to finally have a diagnosis. I was told there was treatment!

And then my diagnosing doctor announced that he could support my many ailments, but would not treat my Lyme Disease, because it was ‘controversial’.

WTF?????

Seriously. There is a condition. I am diagnosed. By a well-regarded and very competent doctor. I am DYING. Treatment is controversial, so sorry. Can’t do.

In a first-world country. In 2012. A disease with a treatment protocol, and I can’t have it?

It beggared belief.

I wanted to be well. I hungered to be well. I was dying. I didn’t have time to muck around. I found another doctor.

That doctor saved my life with an aggressive campaign of antibiotics, antimicrobials and antimalarials.

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He was shut down before my treatment protocol was finished.

I found another doctor. Resumed treatment after having slid terrifyingly backwards while being unsupervised. I began to improve again.

That doctor closed down his practice.

I found a doctor prepared to treat me ‘under the radar’ and in ways that would not jeopardise their licence. But then they couldn’t keep offering me the treatments that worked.

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Each time I improved a little more. Thanks to these champions of medicine who risked their own licences and careers to uphold their medical oath and treat me and others like me.

Meanwhile I worked with acupuncture and herbs. I meditated and visualised.

My lyme doctors kept being shut down or unable to offer me effective treatment, but because of their brave actions my health has slowly been reclaimed.

Here I am now, alive. My treatment regime now is herbs, essential oils, diet, acupuncture, meditation and energy work. I continue to improve.

But let me put that in context:

Things that have improved since January 2013:

  1. No longer dying! (Yep, I rate that pretty highly.)
  2. My heart is almost back to normal, although I still have pain and inflammation of the lining, which has resulted in a recent hospital stay. Again.
  3. I can write, and hold a complex story-line in my head.
  4. My Hashimoto’s has resolved enough that I no longer need thyroid meds.
  5. I am no longer on any drugs.
  6. I am seizure-free.
  7. Gone from 17 brain lesions to 3. Those three are shrinking too.
  8. Massive, massive improvement in cognitive function.
  9. Short and long-term memory working better.
  10. I can do maths again (after over twenty years of not being able to place numbers sequentially or do basic math tasks).
  11. I have more energy for daily living, and can now do small amounts of exercise.
  12. My capacity for work is now ten-fold!
  13. I can forward-plan without having to take into account the high likelihood of croaking it anytime soon (except for normal statistics and variations, of course).
  14. I am sometimes well enough to drive.
  15. My food allergies and intolerances have gone.
  16. My pain levels have diminished significantly.
  17. My incapacitating frequent headaches are down to an very occasional blind-siding incident.
  18. My vision is almost normal, except when I am tired.
  19. I am arthritis-free.
  20. Liver and kidney function and all bloodwork vastly improved. Vastly!
  21. I am able to have an occasional late night, an occasional alcoholic drink, an occasional socialising event like a normal person would.
  22. I can climb stairs and hills and still breathe. No chest pain. No breathlessness. No recovery time needed. Exercise is now my friend.
  23. I can follow a movie, read a book, hold a longer and more technical conversation.
  24. My balance has significantly improved and I can actually walk up and down stairs unassisted and safely. Balance not good enough to wear any kind of heel yet, but that’s okay. Flat shoes are safety shoes!
  25. I am well enough to travel again.
  26. I have glimmers of libido. (Talk to any chronically ill person and their partner and you’ll know what a big deal this is!)

Things I’m still working on:

  1. My sleep is often interrupted by pain. Deep pain in bones and nerves. Pain that makes me whimper. Aching pain that won’t resolve with meditation or medication. Not every night anymore, but enough to be annoying and limiting.
  2. Occasional neurological bladder incontinence. Yep, unexpected peeing of my big-girl pants. It’s very occasional. Which means almost impossible to plan for. Truly, you can’t die from it so overall it’s not so bad.
  3. Energy levels – I rise early, but am also in bed most nights by 8pm. Sometimes 6pm. Sometimes 4pm. That’s not normal! However, in my waking hours I get so much done these days. It’s thrilling. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
  4. Startle reflex. I am jumpier that a ‘Nam Vet. Magnesium helps. Meditation helps. But still. Awful. And makes me a horrible passenger, let alone driver.
  5. Driving. I’m still not really doing it. My reflexes and balance are not flash yet. Peripheral vision? Awful. I am good with known routes in low traffic times and where parking will be easy. Brain processing speed? Slow. My brain can’t process night driving at all. Too much going on. I can’t drive when tired. I am almost always tired.
  6. Optic nerve issues and occasional loss of vision in left eye. No biggy, but annoying.
  7. Daytime pain. Sigh. Yep, still got it, although it is improving. Stabby eye pain. Heart pain. Leg pain. Foot pain. Ice-pick headaches. Sudden severe nerve-pain like electric shock.
  8. Memory-gone-on-holidays moments. Especially when tired.
  9. Brain overwhelm from too much stimulation. Which then leads to poor sleep.
  10. I get tired really easily. I still can’t live like a normal adult. I can have a late night if I have a quiet week. (My idea of late is 10pm!) Big days of work? No problem. But need big days of rest and early-to-bed.
  11. Weird symptoms that revisit every so often. Think rashes, spasms, pain and unexplained annoying symptoms. Too long a list to mention, but they are now occasional rather than usual events.
  12. Libido. God, I miss that. What is sexy to me these days is the idea of a long uninterrupted sleep from which I wake refreshed. Sleep? Mmmmmm! Mind you, small improvements. After so long of a completely flat battery, any kind of spark is noticed and appreciated!

My life gets better all the time. I am a master of optimism, flexibility and working within my limits. I deal in reality but expect miracles to show up. And they regularly do.

I am healing from lyme.

Wherever you may be in life right now, know that change is always possible. Believe in the impossible until it becomes probable. Don’t give up on yourself, or on your dreams. Defy the odds. I have. You can too.

All my love, Nicole❤ xoxo

Does Planning Your Future Press All The Wrong Buttons In You?

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“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”
~ Salvador Dalí

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
~ Maya Angelou

 

2016 is right on our doorstep.

For many people it’s a time of review. For some it’s a time of making New Year’s resolutions. And some of us are working with my Year of ME Planner – 2016.

Reviewing and planning your life – it sounds exciting, doesn’t it?

Except when it’s not.

I have always maintained that self work is some of the hardest work you can do. It’s easy to go through life busy – getting up every day tired, going to work or school, coming home to eat and watch a screen and then fall into bed. Repeat x 365. With the exception of holidays and Christmas. Busy numbs you. Routine numbs you. You don’t even have to think. Life becomes a series of multiple choice questions with the answers all there in front of you. Or we can let life drive us and carry us along.

Self-work wakes you up. Self work makes you examine your life. Who are you? What do you want? In what direction do you want your life to go?

When we begin to ask ourselves those questions it can be hard to truly see and own the choices (or lack of choices) we have made thus far.

It can be incredibly confronting to stand at the centre of our life and realise that we no longer know what makes us happy. Or worse, that we have become so disconnected from ourselves and from Spirit that we feel like we have only emptiness when we ask ourselves the big questions.

Image from www.theawsc.com

Image from www.theawsc.com

And there’s one other elephant that often creeps into the room when we do start to give ourselves permission to plan and dream and consciously create our lives.

That would be the elephant of Unworthiness.

That feeling where all our fear kicks in. All our self-doubt. The voice in our head, which is effectively silenced by hard work, routine, illness or fatigue, starts whispering and then shouting…

Not good enough

Too fat

No money

Too sick

Too old

Too stupid

Too late

I’ll fail

I don’t deserve it

It’s impossible

and all manner of other unhelpful things. All the old fears rush in. Plus a few new ones. Often that voice gets so loud that all we want to do is put down our Planner (Did I mention that I have an awesome Planner to really help you live consciously in 2016?🙂 ) and go back to the numbness of the life we lived before.

You’ll know if that’s you.

You’ll move into a place of resistance. Of procrastination. Of crankiness even.

Excellent!

That’s always a positive sign that those buttons are being pushed in you because you are moving out of stuckness (where it’s safe) and back into the flow of life again.

I’d urge you to keep going with planning and dreaming and manifesting through your intention.

I know some of you will now counter that with, ‘But Nicole, you don’t understand! I’m sick. I have no money. No-one is helping me. My life sucks. How can I plan a better life when I am not even coping with my day? That’s so unrealistic – to dream of an ideal life, or even a better life, when were I am currently sucks so much.’

Image from www.buzzfeed.com

Image from www.buzzfeed.com

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Remind yourself that self work is the hardest work you can do. Encourage yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself kindly, like you would a small cranky, frightened child.

Know that sometimes this work needs time to flow. Stick with it. Work in small bites. You can always write a little bit down and then come back to your dreams and your life plan and add more later. Let it be an adventure in knowing yourself, rather than an awful chore that needs to be perfect or ‘done right’.

And most importantly?

NEVER LET YOUR CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES DICTATE YOUR FUTURE REALITY.

Imagination is a powerful force, and just like when you were a child, you can go into your imagination and create without limitation. Thoughts become things. Change is always possible.

Back in 2000, shortly after I was married, I became so sick from undiagnosed lyme that my husband was advised to put me into a nursing home. I had lesions on my brain. My cognitive ability was shot. I couldn’t walk, think clearly, or function in daily life. It was predicted that within six months I would be a drooling mess, and that within a few short years I would be dead.

But I still had my imagination, and my ability to dream.

I’m sure that’s what got me through.

And every single thing (bar one – having kids), on my list of dreams and seemingly impossible goals from that time in my life has now come true, even though at the time I was sick, had no money, life truly sucked, and I didn’t know HOW it would ever change.

Life is a great big adventure, and we never truly know how it will unfold for us. But thinking and dreaming is still free, and there is powerful magic in those two acts. Don’t give up on yourself!

2016 is almost here. It’s a whole book of blank pages for us to fill. Don’t let that be terrifying. Your imagination is a giant crayon box jam-packed with colour and possibility, longing to be let loose on those blank pages.

Dare to truly think. Dare to give yourself permission to imagine. Dare to dream.

Image from desicomments.com

Image from desicomments.com

Want some help and support for your journey?

We’d love you to be a part of our Year of ME Planner – 2016 community. Come join us, and make 2016 a year of supported and nourished growth.

Much love to you,

Nicole xx