“Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.” ~Veronica Roth
For hours I’ve sat, empty.
Unable to sleep. Not even able to meditate or pray.
A friend’s twelve-year-old daughter died last night. They turned off her life support. I sat with her and her family and supported them through that awful night, and then when I could do no more I came home.
This little girl didn’t die from cancer, some terrible illness, an accident…
She died because she had been relentlessly bullied and cyber-bullied at the boarding school where her family had thought she was happy and safe. She died because she’d tried to take her own life and she did enough damage that her parents had to finish what she began.
She was twelve. Small as a bird. She’d loved horses and books and playing the violin and baking cupcakes.
Her soul is free now. She has returned to love. We found that space of love together with her last night, and the room was peaceful afterwards, and calm.
But all I can think about this morning was how tiny her body was in that large bed, and how her mother was white with grief and her father broke in front of me and I had no words to make sense of this. For them, or for me.
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
Things people have said to me when I told them I am a psychic:
I don’t have a problem with it but you shouldn’t tell people or they might judge you. It’s pretty flaky to say you’re a psychic.
But you seem surprisingly intelligent…
God will smite you and your family. Repent!
That’s incredible. You seem so normal.
You can come to our barbeque on the weekend? Great. But is it okay if you don’t tell my friends what you do? Because one is a lawyer and one is a surgeon and they’re both really smart and they won’t understand someone like you. And they won’t understand why I am friends with you. Just tell them you’re a writer. Okay?
Did something bad happen to you as a child?
Can you tell me if this guy is into me or is he cheating on me?
What’s this rash?
Oh man! Don’t say that. You can’t say that. That’s so offensive. Can’t you tell people you are emotionally aware or something like that?
You’re kidding me, right? I thought you were normal.
You seem so balanced.
Are you bi-polar or something?
No-one will ever take you seriously EVER again.
OMG, that’s so embarrassing, Nicole. Shut up! Never speak of it again. No, I’m not kidding. Don’t ever talk to me about this again.
But there’s also been this:
My dog died, and he was my best friend in the world. Can you tell me if he’s okay?
When my nana died she came to visit me in my room. I was only five but I still remember it. No-one believed me. Do you think that was real?
I sometimes get these feelings about people – you know, a good feeling or a bad feeling – and it turns out to be right. Is that normal?
I always know when my mum is about to ring me.
One night I couldn’t stop thinking about my friend from high school. I hadn’t thought about her for years. The next day I heard she died in an accident that same night. I thought I could tell you that.
I knew I was pregnant from that very first day and I knew I would have a son. This is him. His name is Cole.
Whispers to me, ‘I have crystals in my bra’.
I think I might be psychic too. Can you help me?
If you’re psychic, intuitive, empathic or energetically sensitive I want you to know that it’s okay. You’re fine, just as you are. Be proud of who you are. There are more of us out there than you realise! All my love, Nicole ❤ xx
“Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.” ~ Lalah Delia
April is a great month for leadership, for team work and for finding new people to be on your team. So if you’ve been looking to find the right builder, baker, dentist, wedding planner, personal assistant, dog walker – whatever your need is – April has supportive energy for you.
There’s a flipside to that though, my friends.
And that flipside is this: Someone might be seeking YOU.
YOU might be the solution to someone else’s current problem. So make sure you put yourself out there, apply for jobs, ask if you can help, share your gifts and talents, launch your own material, keep your eye out for new opportunities.
“Power means happiness; power means hard work and sacrifice.”~ Beyonce Knowles “Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”~ Newt Gingrich
April has so many gifts for us if we are bold enough to reach out and grab them. It’s a month for action, for overcoming obstacles and for getting things done. Here’s my blueprint for making the most of the month ahead:
Have a goal. Don’t have one yet? Choose SOMETHING. Big or small. Just choose.
Break that goal down into smaller chunks.
Pick one chunk. Break that down into smaller steps.
Not sure where to start or what to do with identifying those steps? Ask an expert, phone a friend, find a mentor, google it. Someone will know!
Start. Complete a step.
Move to the next step. Start that. Finish it. Have a mini-celebration.
Repeat step 6. And repeat. And repeat.
Rest when you need to, practice self-care, have some downtime and connection time, eat well, then keep working.
Wishing you a month of progress! Lots of love, Nicole ❤ xx
“ And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. ”~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
At the beginning of every month, I discuss the energies and gifts of the month ahead and how we can best use them to make our lives satisfying, meaningful and productive. I also choose a card to support the energies of the month. The deck I am using this year is The Good Tarot by Colette Baron-Reid, and April’s card is 7 of Fire.
April calls you to live from your heartspace. It’s time to find your passion and to use it to colour your life. Make no apologies for who you are this month. Let go of your need for approval. True friends and real love are the kinds of relationships that will accept you as you are, faults and all.
This month lifts you above your obstacles, or helps you to blaze a trail through them. Expect magical insights and guidance to help light the path ahead. It’s time to believe in yourself and your dreams even if no-one else yet believes. Perseverance and resilience are key qualities to cultivate. If you work for the rewards at the end of the road – even though they may be a long way off right now – you ’ll be setting yourself up for a brighter future.
April is also a month for leadership: for yourself, your family, your business, cause or community. Make the hard decisions where you need to. Put your nose to the grindstone to get stuff done. Doing the hard yards now in any nominated area of your life will create future payoffs for this current action.
On a soul level, April calls you to go deeper. It ’s a perfect month for spiritual connection, meditation, faith-based refection, connection to self, Guides and God. Expect profound moments of clarity and awakening, and a desire to spend more time in soul communion.
Take time to pamper yourself and indulge your senses. That might be with music, fragrance, a beautiful meal, a massage or a trip somewhere. Be a self-care champion and remember to live life well, no matter how busy you are.
Best crystals this month?
Malachite and Amethyst
Malachite is a stone to help you overcome perceived limitations. It is a stone of manifestation and abundance that gifts focus and resilience.
Amethyst helps us to tune in to all forms of spiritual guidance and to make wise decisions.
Essential oils to support your journey?
Oils that connect us to our heart energies are what’s needed this month. My top choices are Rose, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang, Geranium, Neroli and Orange. These will work well on their own or in combination – all of them blend delightfully together. Rose – will open and heal your heart chakra and promote self-love Sandalwood – will strengthen faith and connection to the Divine Ylang Ylang – promotes romantic and sensual connection Geranium – restores you from emotional burnout Neroli – helps you access your creative passion Orange – brings joy and optimism back to your heart
I’m passionate about essential oils and their capacity to support our wellness journey and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to know more or want to source the oils I recommend and trust visit this site or contact me at email@example.com
Love to meditate or want to deepen your Spiritual Journey?
Guided Meditation Bundle
I’ve bundled together four powerful guided downloadable meditations and created a companion workbook to support you in your spiritual journey. The Stardust Connection MeditationBundle will help you to connect with and explore Earth Energies, Ancestor Energies, your Solar Plexus energies and personal power, and the Stardust Energies. There is over an hour’s worth of Guided Meditations and a 38-page workbook. The workbook holds specific instructions for using the four guided meditations, as well as journalling activities and reflection/awareness exercises.
The material in the Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle can be used at any time over the next four years, and beyond. My intention with this bundle is to help you become confident in your direction, your intuition, and your contribution to the unfolding history of the world and humanity. To access the bundle or to learn more about it go to my store or click on this link.
“The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
the next time you want to scream the next time you want to cry the next time you feel all alone the next time the pain is unbearable the next time life is squeezing you so hard it hurts the next time you have no idea what to say, what to do, what to feel the next time you are ready to give up
take a breath
there is space within that breath there is room to move time to think and the way you tap into that is to slow down and take a conscious breath and let that breath be your entire focus
take another if you need it
feel it calm you and return you to your centre let the energy of your breath gather all your scattered pieces back together let it gather your strength
while there is breath in your body there is power to overcome, to go on, to find your way
“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” ~ Margaret Mead
Good morning, Lovelies!
It’s just after 5am. I am here at my desk, about to begin writing my blog, and I thought today I would share how you shape my morning routine.
I was awake a little before 4am, as I always am, to meditate. Right now I am meditating twice a day for the students who recently attended my ‘Connect to Your Calling’ Retreat. I check in on each of them energetically and work on them as they need it. Then I tune in to you. I offer up my prayers for you and your families. I send you love and healing, I hold the intent for you that you know yourself, care for yourself and are able to express your unique personality and gifts in the world. I send love and light and peace to situations, places, people and leaders. And finally, I ask how I can best serve you today which is usually how I come up with whatever I will write in my blog.
My husband is still sleeping. My dogs are asleep. The world is quiet. It’s just me, holding space for you. This is my sacred time. The time where I can reach out to you, or make a positive difference in your life somehow.
I know some of us have never met, in person anyway. But you matter to me. Caring for you shapes my day. You see, when I was younger and very ill I felt so alone. I had no energy for friendships or connection. My first marriage had recently failed. I was completely broke and broken. Each day was a struggle. I felt that if I were to die no-one would even notice. I was socially and emotionally isolated.
Then one day I went into a tiny shop in Brisbane that sold items from Tibet. It became somewhere I hung out at whenever I had the energy. I bought my first singing bowl, and a Buddhist monk taught me some Tibetan meditation techniques using the singing bowl and a mala, and gifted me some mala beads. One day a new group of monks from Tibet arrived and through a translator I learned that they meditated for their community and the world every day. Each of them worked to support different groups of people, and in that moment I understood that somewhere in the world were people I had never met who were including me in their prayers, thoughts and meditations, with the sole intent that they somehow provide comfort or support to me. They explained to me that many monks and nuns from different faiths did this kind of work, and that this work of holding space for people was something I could do too. This was something I had also been shown by my Aboriginal Aunties.
The monks helped me to establish my own meditation practice for serving others, and I have done that in my morning and evening meditations ever since.
Often I have woken in the night because of my connection with you. Perhaps I will hold you in my thoughts and send you love and energy. Sometimes I will get out of bed and contact you directly by message or phone, or I will see that you have reached out to me or have posted publicly about a problem and I will respond. I see that as part of my life, a life where we are all connected even if we have not ever met in person.
This morning I need you to know that in this tiny corner of the world is a woman whose first thought each morning is you. That the prayers I offer, the meditation I do, the incense I light is for you. Know that there are many others who hold that prayerful and loving space for you too. Our humanity unites us, our love and service binds us. Tune in and feel those waves of energy, those ripples of love that are always there for you. You are truly loved. You matter.
So, that is how you shape my morning.
I’m going to make a cup of tea now, and write in my journal. Then the day will unfold and off I’ll go to meet it.
But tonight in my meditation, and tomorrow morning, I will be with you.
“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” ~ Masaru Emoto
Someone asked me yesterday how I came to be so strong. And how they could be stronger in facing their own challenges.
I thought deeply on this, and then I made you this list. I hope it helps.
Let your children fail, be disappointed and be let down. At the same time love them, and help them understand that the Universe does not revolve around them, and that good manners and kindness are important always, and especially so when you are losing while someone else is winning. (Thanks, Mum and Dad ❤)
Breathe and be in the moment. In the moment you can get through the next second. In the moment you are larger and stronger and more hyper-aware, and life can actually be beautiful even as it devastates.
Maintain relationships. Have a friend to phone, or a neighbour with whom you can drink tea. Many times my sister has been my lifeline. Online friendships have made the difference when I had no energy for face-to-face.
Cry. And then keep going.
Sleep. And then keep going.
Make a serious motivational music mix for those soul emergencies. PLAY IT LOUD.
Find your faith. That might be God, or nature, or love. It might be the unconditional love of a dog. It might be the stillness of meditation. Visit and sit in that space of faith often.
Meditation. I do it daily. Even a few minutes help.
Have gratitude for the small details of life. A good cup of tea, laughing, the smell of salt on the breeze, clean sheets, the shape of a cloud, sunshine or rain.
Life’s adversity gifts you the opportunity to know yourself better, and to choose how you will behave and think – even when you have little or no control over your situation or the eventual outcome. Step back from yourself, observe and learn. You’ll be amazed at how much strength, grace and courage was always inside you waiting for you to need it.
Make art, follow your dreams, and do them in the moments when you have some energy. When there is no energy for anything then dwell in your imagination with those dreams. Don’t put them down just because you are broken. We are all broken. Broken people can still live well and get stuff done.
Live. While there is breath in your lungs and a beating heart in your body stay curious, keep trying, stay open, and live.
You’ve got this. Go surprise yourself. I know you can, and it’s a glorious moment when you realise that you can live happily even when broken, wounded, dying or less than whole.